The Single Woman

single woman

“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.”

Honestly, I struggle quite a bit with the idea of being a single woman. I’ve never been in a relationship, never had a boyfriend, and my dating track record is not the best. Actually, as my best friend Brooke puts it, I tend to be interested in “douche bags” and “jack-asses” and fraternity “boys.” This past year has been a pretty rough one when it comes to boys, and thus, I have found myself broken-hearted and unsure of if love is even worth it.

Lately, I’ve taken a good look at why being a single woman is so difficult for me. What it really comes down to is the belief that I am unlovable or inherently unworthy in some way. I have connected my failure in the dating world to being a failure as a person. In reality, those  two things have nothing to do with each other. Seeking validation through boys and the external world has only distracted me from finding validation from the person that matters most- myself.

I believe it is so truly important and vital for us to love ourselves. I know this may sound cliché, but the ability to cultivate self-love and self-validation is essential to a happy life. If we are constantly trying to live for others, we will never experience fulfillment.

Just some musings on this idea. I shall keep you posted on how things are going.




12 thoughts on “The Single Woman

  1. I refused to date in high school and it was probably one of the better decisions I made. I know so many people that feel like they have to be in a relationship, because they really haven’t had any time to be single since their early teens. I think it’s made me smarter with relationships, as I don’t feel like I’m obligated to be with someone crappy just for the sake of having a boyfriend. Everyone eventually finds someone who loves and accepts them for who they are.
    Thank you for sharing!

    Courtney from

    • Thank you for sharing your experience with me as well! I totally believe that I will eventually find someone who loves and accepts me as I am!

      Happy Tuesday!

  2. Terrific post. This is the first time I’ve been single for an extended period of time and I am using it to take the time and take up new hobbies and learn what it is that drives me.
    Thanks for this post, made my morning!

  3. This is post is from and older man. Heh Ally, don’t be so hard on yourself. Every attractive woman I have ever met has had her share of “douche bags,” jack-asses,” “fraternity boys,” “a-holes,” etc. etc. etc. It’s right of passage into womanhood. You need to go through this period to truly appreciate the right guy when YOU’RE READY. Now when you get to your 30’s and you’re still dating the above mentioned boys that’s a problem. Cheers!

      • I’m happy you replied because you’ve given me the opportunity to correct myself. It’s “rite of passage” not “right of passage.” Hope you’re doing well and thank you for liking my images on Instagram.

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