The Single Woman

single woman

“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.”

Honestly, I struggle quite a bit with the idea of being a single woman. I’ve never been in a relationship, never had a boyfriend, and my dating track record is not the best. Actually, as my best friend Brooke puts it, I tend to be interested in “douche bags” and “jack-asses” and fraternity “boys.” This past year has been a pretty rough one when it comes to boys, and thus, I have found myself broken-hearted and unsure of if love is even worth it.

Lately, I’ve taken a good look at why being a single woman is so difficult for me. What it really comes down to is the belief that I am unlovable or inherently unworthy in some way. I have connected my failure in the dating world to being a failure as a person. In reality, those  two things have nothing to do with each other. Seeking validation through boys and the external world has only distracted me from finding validation from the person that matters most- myself.

I believe it is so truly important and vital for us to love ourselves. I know this may sound cliché, but the ability to cultivate self-love and self-validation is essential to a happy life. If we are constantly trying to live for others, we will never experience fulfillment.

Just some musings on this idea. I shall keep you posted on how things are going.

Xx,

Allie

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Finding routine

Getting back into the swing of things is always a little tricky for me. Of course, I want to dive head first in and take on whatever it may be that I want to change but that process has been happening a lot slower than I would like lately. I want to do something, and then I don’t. Yesterday someone told me that, “Whatever’s going to come my way, will come my way.” There’s no use in worrying, because really all that “worry” is is stressing yourself out about something that hasn’t happened yet — or that already happened. It’s important to plan and reflect, but there’s a fine line between that and always thinking about the past and the future and neglecting the present.

So today, I’m going to try to get back into the swing of things. Embrace the present moment more. Recreate a routine I once had that made me happiest and not worry so much about what’s next (or try at least). And it may sound silly, but a lot of that starts with how I treat my body and what I feed it. I need a consistency and wholeness that I’ve been lacking for these past few hectic weeks.

And nothing says here’s to a fresh start of a new week than a warm bowl of oatmeal topped with sliced bananas, blueberries, almonds and cinnamon. Enjoy your week! 

XX

Abby 

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Weekender

Just got back from San Francisco, and while I could go on about how much I already miss it…I think I’ll just post some photos from the trip. A picture’s worth a 1,000 words, right? Happy Monday loves!

XX

Abby

securedownloadTreated myself to an almond + cherry scone and an almond milk latte at a little cafe I stumbled upon while walking through the city.

Union Square ♥

Ferry building = one of my favorite places in SF.

Words cannot describe how happy I was to be reunited with my Blue Bottle Coffee, sigh.

Handmade infinity wire bracelet I picked up from a street vendor.

photo 3Lovely view from the Sutro Baths.

photo 1Peak of the Golden Gate Bridge during a hike through Lands End.

A warm winter?

In Cali winter isn’t really a season. Perhaps it gets a little chilly for a day and the next thing you know it’s hot enough for a good tan.

Thus, combining winter style with the warmer weather can be a challenge.

For me, I embrace the darker winter colors and fun boots, but I make sure that my clothes are light and airy.

It may sounds silly, but I want to experience winter, perhaps just in my own So Cal way!

Let me know what you think! What are your tricks?

Xx
Allie

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Commission

I can admit it: I love eavesdropping. Not in an intrusive way, just paying avid attention to over heard words. Found language. Today, while reading at Starbucks, a business meeting was happening at the table next to me. In a way, it felt like I was supposed to be at that Starbucks at that time just to hear that conversation.

Right now, in my life, there is a preoccupation with money. My parents and by extension, myself, are scrapping for cash and quite frankly grasping at straws. I don’t know how it will all pan out and it’s scary to feel so vulnerable because of a lack of money. Right when I was pretty much thinking of selling my soul to help pay bills, I over head this group of financial analysts and consultants at Starbucks. I was so put off by more or less everything they said, how they carried themselves, and how entitled they acted. While I still wish money did grow on trees, I would rather be struggling than jaded. Money, despite what our culture suggests, is NOT everything.

Below is a little piece I wrote inspired by the overhead conversation that also inspired this post:

Commission

“The bottom line of this meeting is to make money.”

“Time is money.”

“I do a lot of selling.”

– But when all you care about is making money, don’t you get exhausted? Drained, at least? Eyes tired from viewing everything behind dollar signs? Hollowed out of humanity, if we’re being dramatic. Every body is profitable. A profit to be made. Commission. Potential commission. I don’t know you as a person, but I can judge you by your profession. Quite quickly. Quite easily. That may say a lot about me, but I think it says a lot more about you. It’s sad that money is literally the most important thing to you. In theory, it is to me too. But I have perspective enough to realize things like family, friends, health, beauty in a quiet sunrise. I don’t think you do. Money is an ugly thing that you would hail until you turn into dust. Which you will, eventually. No matter how much money you make on commission.

“When I come here, this is your table.”

-You own Starbucks now too?

“Brought the whole army.”

-Somehow you all look the same. The financial analyst. Buttoned up dress shirt. Quaffed hair. Coffee cup in hand.

“6 months to make $100,000.”

-Is that a challenge or a given?

XX

Abby