Commission

I can admit it: I love eavesdropping. Not in an intrusive way, just paying avid attention to over heard words. Found language. Today, while reading at Starbucks, a business meeting was happening at the table next to me. In a way, it felt like I was supposed to be at that Starbucks at that time just to hear that conversation.

Right now, in my life, there is a preoccupation with money. My parents and by extension, myself, are scrapping for cash and quite frankly grasping at straws. I don’t know how it will all pan out and it’s scary to feel so vulnerable because of a lack of money. Right when I was pretty much thinking of selling my soul to help pay bills, I over head this group of financial analysts and consultants at Starbucks. I was so put off by more or less everything they said, how they carried themselves, and how entitled they acted. While I still wish money did grow on trees, I would rather be struggling than jaded. Money, despite what our culture suggests, is NOT everything.

Below is a little piece I wrote inspired by the overhead conversation that also inspired this post:

Commission

“The bottom line of this meeting is to make money.”

“Time is money.”

“I do a lot of selling.”

– But when all you care about is making money, don’t you get exhausted? Drained, at least? Eyes tired from viewing everything behind dollar signs? Hollowed out of humanity, if we’re being dramatic. Every body is profitable. A profit to be made. Commission. Potential commission. I don’t know you as a person, but I can judge you by your profession. Quite quickly. Quite easily. That may say a lot about me, but I think it says a lot more about you. It’s sad that money is literally the most important thing to you. In theory, it is to me too. But I have perspective enough to realize things like family, friends, health, beauty in a quiet sunrise. I don’t think you do. Money is an ugly thing that you would hail until you turn into dust. Which you will, eventually. No matter how much money you make on commission.

“When I come here, this is your table.”

-You own Starbucks now too?

“Brought the whole army.”

-Somehow you all look the same. The financial analyst. Buttoned up dress shirt. Quaffed hair. Coffee cup in hand.

“6 months to make $100,000.”

-Is that a challenge or a given?

XX

Abby

 

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Library cards

“Perhaps this was why there were so many alternate paths leading to the same destination, so that the future would take care of itself, like it always did.” — Das Kapital 

The other day I found myself at the library, rather embarrassingly, asking a man at the front desk how I could get a library card. I had one, probably, literally, 11 or 12 years ago. Then lost it. Then never checked out a book again. Lately, though I’ve had such a desire to read again. Devour words completely and fully, almost greedily.  As much as I’d love to buy stacks of books, that’s not exactly in my budget these days. So in a spur of the moment decision, I drove to the library and got a new card.

It perhaps sounds juvenile, but I was so excited after I got it. I browsed the bookshelves and just took some time for myself (there is honestly nothing I like more than browsing for books, I could do it for hours). I ended up getting three. The first one I started on is Das Kapital by Vivken Berberian. It’s a novel about love and money and hedge funds in New York. I’m loving it so far and almost done with it actually. Thankfully, I have two more after that one and then an entire library to shift through.

XX

Abby

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Breakfast break

Today, again, I find myself having to put together my day almost like a puzzle. Different things I have to do with half an hour windows in between to get from point A to point B to point C to point Z — it feels like. At least there was a moment in the morning I had to sit and enjoy my breakfast, and obviously, my coffee. Whether you find yourself hitting the ground running today or waking up slowly, I hope you can enjoy your morning! 

XX

Abby 

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Pink + Purple

In honor of Valentine’s Day this week I chose to add a little pop of color to my nails. I’m usually a dark red or neutral tan type of girl but pinks and purples seemed to be more appropriate this time. I love using two (okay, even three) different colors for my nails too. I used to think it look kind of childish and maybe even tacky, but more and more I’ve been using my nail polish to add a little extra sass and personality to my look. Finished with some delicate mid-finger rings and I’m ready to spread some serious love.

XX

Abby

Finding joy

Sunday’s should be lazy days, spent close to home, cozy and curled up. For me though, this Sunday at least, I’m working. Not your typical job (just tutoring and babysitting) but still, work. I remind myself that I’m in no position to turn down anything paid and if that means giving up one Sunday here and there, I guess that’s the name of the game. 

So while I may not be spending my Sunday the way I want to, I have to look at the bigger picture. Working today will help me tomorrow and the next day. Sometimes I guess you just have to keep your head down and get that job done. Grinding away. It helps to remember to enjoy those moments I do get, the ones that are stolen away. Or even find joy in those moments I’d rather not be doing. It doesn’t benefit anyone to do something with your jaw clenched and heels dragging behind you. Every day is a gift right? So there is, of course, joy in that. Plain and simple.

Happy Sunday loves, whatever you may be doing.

XX

Abby

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